Wishing, daydreaming, with work undone.

It’s 1+am in the morning, I have to write this draft writeup for my group because somehow I missed out on all the emails and contributed absolutely nothing for this latest assignment. What makes it worse is that we aren’t even sure if the draft writeup is needed, so I’m doing it as a just in case thing. So if it’s not needed, I have practically contributed nothing >.<

But here I am, writing a new entry in this over-neglected blog. Why? Because I have no idea how to freaking write the paper. It’s like, my last GP essay has been ages ago. I freaking don’t know how to write a GP-ish essay anymore lah. This is what the module is supposed to help me with though? Brush up my GP skills. >.<

So anyway, it’s over 1am. And I am supposed to sleep at 1am every night. Why am I supposed to sleep at 1am every night? Because I promised someone. And because it’s good for me. I suppose having work to do gives me a valid excuse to stay up. But the reason why I’m still doing this piece of work is because I lack balance in my life. Admittedly, I could have not talked on the phone so much. OKay, still so much shit to work out in my life before it’s fully under control and before I can be proud of myself.

I have nothing much to say. THIS IS REALLY JUST A RANDOM BLOG POST.

I realise just how sucky I am at planning things? Gatherings and stuff. I have no creativity at all. And no romantic sense. I like romance like girls normally do, but I suck at thinking it up. >.< Girls are supposed to be good at such stuff.

Oh, and let’s see. I have a new and weird (material) wishlist that I wouldn’t have seen coming a year ago. Shall include only the larger purchases…since I think my wishlist is neverending.

1. Sewing Machine
2. New Laptop
3. Repaired keyboard? Or a new one.
4. Portapro headphones (Don’t ask. Please. I’m not particular with sound quality or anything…but…things do sound good on my sister’s earphones and they do look cool…>.<)
5. A trip to Japan (The guys are going to Japan at the end of the year…sigh envy. I really wanna go too boo. But nvm, I shall wait till end of next year or maybe the year after bah. sigh.)

Ok, I just realised that by only including larger purchases it doesn’t reflect how the list of things I want these days have changed >.< Not much anyway. Oh well. Shan’t bother.

Anyway shit I really don’t know how to write the stupid draft. Can I just do it early tomorrow. I wonder if the others in the group are really pissed at me now. >.<

Oh, and to people who bothered reading this? The fact you’re reading means you care for me. And therefore I have a responsibility to tell you this. Don’t worry about me…I shall be fine. =) Life is pretty good right now. I’ll handle whatever problems there are, and they won’t affect my happiness =) Thanks for caring!~ Seriously.

Effects till dawn

The unchanging fatal weakness of mine – low self-discipline. Unchanging not because I do not want to change, but it’s easier said than done. Low self-discipline in so many aspects, such that there are some things I can no longer tell people, even those close to me, for they are sick of my stories since a long time ago. Why don’t you just change then? I try, without success.

It’s kinda amusing when I see myself in a third-person’s point of view, when a single gesture can sustain me through the entire night. Well, I’ve just finished drawing plans, sections, elevations, axonometric and what not. Some five hours, the effect predictably died down, but nevertheless lingering. Like how the alien feeling of lips linger after your first kiss – bliss or not.

It would be a blessing if such positive vibes for the night were automatically transferred into my work and translated into higher quality drawings. Perhaps the model transformed into precisely cut and assembled pieces, without me so much as touching it. Or maybe faeries were fluttering around sprinkling magical dust on it, and the tutors shall love it during crit session tomorrow despite its rough edges and glue stains.

Poor self-discipline. It did help my mood I suppose. But it kills my ambition. Whatever happened to my plans to do more sketches for tomorrow’s crit session, I have no idea. I might also need to remind myself that my old habit of tardiness is heavily linked to my low self-discipline and I’d better do something about it. I probably need to get that entire module’s work submitted soon too. It is unimaginably late.

P.S. I have no idea whether the above post is coherent a not. And I don’t really care. It’s freaking 6.30am in the morning, and submission is at 10am. The tone’s probably kinda out-of-character for me too. I have no idea why I’m even blogging.